Three Hurrah’s For Germany, Part Three: The First Hurrah!

26 Feb


 Hamburg, Bremen, Saxony and Oldenburg all follow Nassau in willingly integrating themselves with Prussia, hoping to form Greater Germany (The First Hurrah!). Pan-Nationalists rise again and again across German Europe. The truce between Prussia and Austria-Hungary comes to an end. I could, through military might, subsume the state of Austria, but as I must wait another four years for State & Government, I am in no hurry to Sphere or annex Austria. I have no intention of fighting all of France without first forming at least the North German Federation beforehand.

So I wait.

And then this happens:

!!FUN!! times for all!

If Prussia falls to the Jacobin menace, our great Kingdom will be set back a decade of work. Austria-Hungary will not fare much better. By August of 1848, the Jacobin threat has occupied most of the country and marches on Berlin. The last, tattered remnants of the Prussian military makes its stand there, facing down their own brothers in battle. The game keeps track of which movements and factions your citizens support, including soldiers. Almost half of my army defected to the Jacobin menace and marches on the capital this very moment. After another month of manoeuvring and skirmishes, the three-hundred-thousand-strong Jacobin army enters Berlin, resisted by fifty-thousand Prussian Loyalists. Over the barricades storm the Anarchists, dying by the tens of thousands every day. For every corpse piled by Prussian guns, another Jacobin flies howling from the mists. The Battle for Berlin lasts three weeks.

Finally, on 2 September, the battle ends. By 4 September, the bloodied, battered remains of the Prussian Army sets about the tired work of restoring order to the nation.

The next eighteen months are spent in this cycle; Jacobin uprising, bare victory, a few months of peace and military rebuilding, then another uprising. Finally, in May 1849, the Jacobins seize Berlin and assassinate my First Minister.

That's 145,000 MORE Jacobin rebels, just sitting in Berlin. I think I'm depopulating Germany with this civil war.

God damn it…

Jacobins took Bavaria. Unwilling to let my sphereling go, I decided to press the issue and start a war. Now it's 1851, I have State & Government, but one of the requirements for unification is 'be at peace'. Then the elections got violent (I REALLY HATE JACOBIN REBELS)

Forming the North German Federation (The Second Huzzah!)

The war with Bavaria complete, Prussia declares the unification of all northern German states into the NGF amid Jacobin violence and a Nationale Partei (Reactionary) victory in the elections. Immediately thereafter, the Jacobins march on the Capitol and force a regime change, installing the Liberaldem Partei as the head of this new German nation. Long Live Liberty!

So this really sets me back. Jacobins continue to rise (haven’t you already WON!?), but amidst all that, I manage to glare angrily at Austria for a few years. then, I declare war.

I think I broke Austria

Oh, I absolutely broke Austria. It wasn’t hard; they had no allies and no army. On the other hand, I’ll need to annex or sphere some of those broken pieces if I want to form Greater Germany. On the gripping hand, most of them aren’t German anyway. I would have kicked them out just as soon as I could anyway.

But while I’ve been struggling to unite Germany, the United States of America have been struggling to stay that way:

Seems slavery is a hot-button topic over there. Silly Americans; we here in Europe are all about peace and love and equality, right? At least, that's what our Jacobin overlords tell us to say.

I have no intention of officially recognizing the CSA. I want them to lose the Civil War.

But it can’t hurt to provide some war subsidization; monetary and material aid in their war against the Yankee’s in the north. The longer the war drags on, the more damage will be done to the up-and-coming superpower, and the longer I can delay their world domination, the better.

Things are getting… wacky. Out of control. Fun.

Greece, my ally, goes bankrupt. Portugal, an up-and-coming Great Power, declares war, so I move to defend. Then France declares war on Austria for no particular reason, dragging me into a second war. The Switzerland declares war against Austria for no particular reason, and all hell breaks loose. Austria kicks Swiss ass, gets smeared by France, who forces them into their Sphere, but my war with them doesn’t end. I take this as an opportunity to steal Alsace-Lorraine, which ends… poorly.

Then Carlist Spain goes bankrupt (Great Depression of the 1850’s?), and France declares against them. So too does Portugal, who is currently failing to hold off my invasion.


Is this the First World War or something? Germany, France, Greece, Austria, Switzerland, Portugal, Spain and Poland. Oh yeah, Poland decided to defend Greece too.

Poland is that little red bit above Hungary, which still has the Austrian name planted atop it on the map. As you can see, they will be of incredible help.

Meanwhile, the Ottoman and Italian Empires went to war, while the United and Confederate states stopped going to war, which confuses me since the United States was way ahead. The CSA had next to no military remaining, and half of their provinces were occupied by Yank troops.  Then, nothing. The war was ended in a White Peace, and the United States immediately attacked the Empire of Mexico for the State of California. Taking advantage of this weakened, split, distracted United States (Disunited States? Northern States of America?), Britain declares war, igniting the Third War of Independence. I must have missed the second. The CSA is filled to the brim with Confederate Reactionaries and the USA goes bankrupt.

The war in Portugal goes smoothly, and as an added bonus I puppet them. They will be useful in the war against France to come.

Know what else will be useful? A MILLION JACOBIN REBELS IN FRANCE. Go, my brothers and sisters! I take the opportunity to declare war while they deal with their new rebel problem.

The war goes shockingly well, with Prussian, Austrian, Bohemian and Spanish might easily surrounding and crushing the French armies, divided as they are between Loyalist and Jacobin forces.

Look-see what I got!

What a cockslap that would be... >:)

 But wait!

What’s this?


Next Time: Germany! From there, who knows?
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Posted by on February 26, 2012 in Snarkangel Plays (The Tags), Vicky II


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