Three Hurrah’s for Germany, Part Five: Germany, Total and Whole

06 Mar

Wait, what’s this?

That, friends, is the Suez Canal. Awesome.

Can I get a Fourth Hurrah, anyone?

Colonialism in Africa, and the Ottoman Question.

The Russian-German War (and the Franco-German War)

War between Germany and Russia has long been inevitable, and finally it comes. Russia invades Germany. Germany responds with overwhelming force. After only six months of fighting (and not a single German military loss), Germany has Denmark as a puppet and Poland acquires a small tract of land. I would have pushed for more Russian disintegration, but France declared war again. Luckily, my reserves have already mobilized and are standing guard in Elsaß-Lothringen. They will hold long enough for my proper military to counter-attack.

This is also an excellent opportunity to take Friesland from the Netherlands, as they have joined in war against me. I’ll see what I can do about picking France apart as well.

So far so good.

In the Colonies, German troops push back against Algerian Colonial armies in North Africa, and against Congolese Colonials farther south. The Netherlands falls swiftly to a concerted German effort, freeing up two more armies for the war in France.

A year passes.


This is taking entirely too long.

Portugal falls to Carlist Spain, and the Spanish military moves into France. This taxes my already overextended military, which has pushed deep into France. Canada (now a Great Power) offers Germany an Alliance and joins the war. Their navy puts pressure on that of France and Spain, while my new Hungarian allies relieve my armies in France. It turns into a clusterfuck of epic proportions when the UK, eager to regain its long-lost glory (they’ve been in third place for a few decades now) declares war on France. Their navy is still nothing to scoff at, nor is their military. They may not be my allies in this war, but they are my friends.

A short while later, Western Europe looks like this:

Oops, I broke the UK too.

Germany Complete!

Taking Heligoland is easy since I have a core there – the Warscore required to take it is low.

Forcing the freedom of Wales, not so much.

What to do Now?

The year is 1889, and Germany has unified all ethnic Germans under one rule. All German Cores belong to me; all German-majority provinces, the same. I have little desire to turn all of Europe grey – not that I couldn’t do that, mind. I have a military more powerful than any two lesser Great Powers combined – though this is not the same thing as the ability to defeat two combined GP’s. I’ve angered Russia, France and the UK recently, and my only GP ally is across the pacific. Canada seems to be making nice headway in North America; a divided and weakened USA has made Canada into a powerful North American state. The CSA is dying; rebellions and constant wars against their northern cousins have worn them down. Though they still control much of the land they ended the Civil War with, their armies are tired and weak. Africa is almost half colonized by Germany, with the other half between France and the UK.

Dem wimmenz, am I right? (I am not right)

I enact Woman’s Suffrage. In response:

More. Jacobin. Rebels.

Speaking of rebellion, all across the United and Confederate States, massive Socialist movements have taken up arms, attempting to overthrow the governments of North America. Though they are unsuccessful in the United States, the Confederacy becomes Red in a year.

A year later, and the CSA and USA are at war. From this bitter conflict arises a new ideology; the Third Way.


The States are split between the Communist Confederacy and the growing Fascist North. Germany, paragon of liberalism that it is (no, really), may be called upon to intervene in North America. For the freedom of the oppressed and the safety of sovereign states. I begin to build influence among the only remaining democratic nations of North America: Newfoundland, New England and Rio Grande. Canada, while democratic, is a Great Power, and therefore cannot be influenced. Still, an alliance with this bastion of freedom in the America’s would be good.

This is what North America looks like, by the way:

The United States continues to become more and more extremist to match their Communist neighbours to the south. Mexico is Socialist, but staunchly opposed to the Communist CSA.

Fascist ideologies spread to Germany, but they remain far underground, represented among a vast minority of the German people.

Mexican expansionism into the United States does not sit well with Canada, which declares a War of American Freedom against the Mexican government. The United Kingdom joins on the side of Mexico, and I again find myself dragged into a war against the UK. My navy is no match for the British Royal Navy, but a quick amphibious raid through Wales (who offered me military access) sees over a fifty thousand German Rifle Guards deep in England. A month later, another army, then another, lands on the shores of England.

That's well in excess of one hundred thousand troops on either side of the Battle of London.

The war in England goes well...

The war in North America does not.

One would think the United States would eagerly join a war to gain its own territory back, but this is not the case.

A new century has arrived! A modern era of peace, prosperity and personal liberty!

With Great Britain entirely occupied, only Ireland remains under total British control - and the war in North America seems to be turning, with British colonies in the Bahamas occupied, and the capital of Mexico falling without a fight.

The war ends in a White Peace, and Germany moves into the new century with a glitter in its eye, Paragon of Liberty and Freedom.

Next Time: Fighting totalitarianism in all its forms!

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