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Dar al-Islam, Part Seven: Sorting Out This Mess

15 Aug

Okay, so:

2013-08-05_00041

Murshid is the current Sultan. However, he was born to Shaybad’s third wife. Muammar is Shaybad’s third son (and the eldest still living), but came from the first wife, so he feels he should be Sultan instead.

In the far west Tulinid Sultanate, another pretender has risen; Shaybad’s brother, who claims that, since Shaybad’s sons cannot get their shit together, he should be Sultan instead of his nephews. It’s a bit of a clusterfuck, because on top of that, the war with Byzantium carries on, and another faction has started to form, calling on the Abbasid Caliph to intervene and absorb the Sultanate into the great Abbasid Caliphate.So basically, it’s Game of Thrones in the desert. Because that went so well for me last time…

What are you talking about? Is the voice in my head going crazy in my old age?

Hey! That was rude!

Wait, if you’re going crazy, does that mean I’m going crazy?

I have no idea, and I’m not about to go into it. Let’s get in this fracas! Choose a side, Kor!

Murshid is the proper Sultan. We will join his armies and put these weak claims to rest.

Your son, Yahya, has decided differently, and his lands in Makuria are in rebellion to you.

Worrisome

What!?

Yahya has sided with Muammar in this succession crisis. Most of the fighting is happening around the Nile river, with huge armies scrambling to assemble despite the mess of borders and factions.

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Further west, Yahya and Muammar combine their forces at Leptis Magna and march on Tripolitania.

My first concern must be my own house. How could Yahya turn his back on his family like this?

It’s a hard time, Koriaur.

Muster the troops! I will lead the assault on Quattara myself! If I find my son on the field, I will kill him!

That may be inadvisable, Koriaur. He is still your son.

I’ll not have his treason stain the Kalmen honour.

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Unfortunately, Yahya is actually south, in the lands of former Nubia – lands you gifted to him when you rode together to defeat the southern nation. The province of Makuria, from which his fledgling Emirate takes its name, remains his primary holding.

I have a retinue down there. Send them into Makuria and flush him out!

Right away, Koriaur!

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While your retinue and southern levies are enough to take the fort, they are in grave danger. Just to the north sits an army loyal to Muammar, two-thousand strong. They are still for the moment, but who knows where they may march?

While they wait, we secure Quattara, while Leptis Magna falls. Maummar and Sultan Murshid meet in battle just outside Cairo, but the battle is inconclusive. Our armies march to meet Muammar in Fustat.

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Our vast superiority in numbers can put an end to this crisis. However, the war has taken a huge toll on our people. Disease has broken out across Egypt.

Allah himself, infinitely merciful, punishes the land of Egypt for the denying the rightful order. Murshid is Sultan. Allah will sit!

I’m sure that’s how it works.

Meanwhile, your armies have combined in Makuria and taken the province. Yahya was no where to be found. It seems he escaped, perhaps to the court Muammar holds in Leptis Magna. After early victories in the west, Sultan Murshid, after making quick strides in the west, has been forced back. Muammar pushes eastward into Kalmen territory in Tobruk. Sultan Murshid marches out of the NIle Delta with a second army to meet Muammar at Tobruk and defeat him.

Muammar cannot win now. With your armies controlling the south and Murshid marching west, back into Leptis Magna, Muammar has nothing left. He surrenders.

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Muammar has been imprisoned, and all other backers of Muammar’s rebellion have been pardoned.

Including Yahya. What are you going to do with him now?

I have no idea.

Well, he certainly has a plan.2013-08-12_00009

Damn that boy!

Calm down, Kor

Just who is this Prince Kemladdin anyway?

Another son of Shaybad, and grandson of Ahmad. He is, in fact, the only surviving Tulunid alive and not imprisoned. Of Murshid’s fourteen siblings and six children, fifteen are dead and four are in Murshid’s dungeons. Sounds like they are having worse family issues than you are!

I’m just glad this mess has been dealt with!

Speaking of messes, let’s see how the Christians are doing!

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East Francia absorbed Lotharingia and West Francia fairly early on, and has been blobbing ever since. Italy has been unstable, finally re-unified, and has fallen into immediate civil war. The Umayyads in Iberia had a brief moment of total collapse, but within a few years were back on their feet, having lost a bit of ground to Asturias.

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The British Isles are a total mess. Skotland controls a bit of everything, while England has formed its own kingdom. Skotland, Jorvik and England have been at war for nearly fifteen years. A unified Kingdom of Ireland briefly joined in, but was immediately steamrolled by Skotland.

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And here we have Scandinavia. Nothing exceptionally out of the wait what is Skotland doing? Seriously Skotland, go home! That is not how Scotland works!

Yeah, at one point Skotland owned all of Ostlandet (Norway). I’d also like to take a closer look at “Denmark”, because it’s really weird.

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You can see Denmark down there above Poland. Denmark is in Pomerania, and controls the islands of Fyn and Sjælland.

The Petty King of Sjælland, however, is way east in Lithuania and part of Finland. It does not control the island for which it is named. Jylland too remains independent of the Kingdom of Denmark, as does the Petty Kingdom of Skane.

Basically, Denmark is actually Pommerania, and the real Danes are not Denmark. And Sjælland is off doing its own thing in Lithuania.

WHAT IS GOING ON

NEXT TIME: What is going on?

 

(Oh, also: 2013-08-12_00014

Koriaur, at the age of 80, has impregnated his youngest wife, Fatima. Who is 21)

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2 Comments

Posted by on August 15, 2013 in CK II, Snarkangel Plays (The Tags)

 

Tags: , , ,

2 responses to “Dar al-Islam, Part Seven: Sorting Out This Mess

  1. Badd

    October 2, 2013 at 6:00 PM

    WHAT IS GOING ON

     
    • snarkangel

      October 3, 2013 at 1:43 AM

      I HAVE NO IDEA BUT IT IS HILARIOUS

       

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