Dar al-Islam, Part Ten: Not Winning

21 Aug
Good God, this is a mess!
Tell me about it!

Okay, I will! Here, the Caliphs forces lay siege to Biktorid lands, vastly outnumbering the Sultan’s army in Fustat.


There is a peasants revolt in Sicily


The Caliph has troops in our southern lands.


And the Caliphs allies have troops marching on your Emirate capital of Makuria.


So we’re fucked?

That would be an accurate summation, yes.

I beg to differ.

Well you go right ahead, but I doubt even you could pull this one out of the fire.

Pay attention. You might learn something. First, note that Ramadan is no longer Caliph, but Prince. Don’t ask me how that happened.


Then just kill him!

Yeah, just kill him. I’m sure it’s that easy. He’ll just let you walk right up and-


Huh. That was.. easy? What would you have done had that failed? Or worse yet, what if you’d been discovered?

You gotta take risks!

Well.. good work. But the war doesn’t end there.

No, but revenge feels good.

While it might feel good, it didn’t help at all. All of our gains in the south have been undone.


Still, you’ve gained a lot of ground within Egypt, even if your gains without were short lived. Seriously though, look at this map of the dynasties in Egypt!


Look how much of that you control! And Alexandria belongs to your son! The Kalmen Dynasty controls the vast majority of land within the Kingdom of Egypt. You are almost as powerful as the Sultan himself, while owning far more land and gold.

I have no desire to push for the Sultanate now. I’m old, and I would rather leave a strong dynasty for my son Nuraddin.


They sound dangerous.

Not quite as dangerous as the Abassids, though. Because the new Caliph wants Nubia now!

Fuck it! Give it to them.

I thought you wanted to be King of Nubia

Yeah, that was something the AI chose for me, before you started playing as me.

Did you just break the fourth wall?

You must be imagining things.

Right. Well, uh… Not all is lost!

It’s not?

Nope! See, the Hashimid have broken off from the Abbasid Empire, giving the Caliph a humongous headache. He’s fighting a two-front war against some very powerful foes.


Gather what remains of the army. We are taking to the offensive!

Good plan, Yahya! With a little luck, we’ll have our lands back, and we’ll give one giant middle finger to the Caliph while we’re at it!

That would be a nice way to go out.

Hey, don’t talk like that! You’ve got plenty of time. We’re turning this war around! We were on the verge of surrender just months ago! Now look at us!


We’ve got the edge! A small one, but we’re winning!



My father is dead. Give him some peace.

Hello Nuraddin.


Your father left you one the most powerful dynasty in Egypt. What are you going to do with it?

I will do what my father and grandfather could not.


I will be Sultan of Egypt.

Looking forward to it, buddy! But we still have a war to fight first. The Caliph has concluded his war against the Hashimids, ending in a White Peace. The Hashimids are independent for now. This means the Caliph can turn the might of his empire against us once again.


It is indeed, Nuraddin. However, Sultan Latif has been pushing them hard in the Sinai, while your fathers campaign in Abyssinia has crushed their will to fight. The Caliph, were he to pursue this war, would likely win. But he is unwilling to do so, and accepts Latif’s peace offering.


This should give us some breathing space. And what should we do with this breathing space?

Take Krete from the Byzantine Empire!

Yes! Wait, what?

Basileus Sebastianos, Emperor of the Byzantine Roman Empire, has declared a holy war for Sicily against Sultan Latif.

Uh, yes? And? Latif is going to lose that war.

But with the Byzantine forces in Italy, we can invade Krete no problem!


Well, you’re making good progress. But, and this is a huge but, if he manages to bring his troops in from Italy, he will crush you. Decimate you! Steamroll everything you’ve got!

Well, with our armies in Krete and Latif’s in Sicily, we’ve got the advantage. Sebastianos is splitting his troops and losing both wars!

Latif Tulunid might just keep Sicily after all! And you might gain Krete for the Kalmen Emirate! I feel better about this plan already!

NEXT TIME: The plan goes ‘better’!

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Posted by on August 21, 2013 in CK II, Snarkangel Plays (The Tags)


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