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Dar al-Islam, Part Twelve: My Cup Overfloweth (and by Cup I of Course Mean Dungeon)

23 Aug
Dude. Seriously:
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Thirty prisoners!
I’m so excited!

Excited? Uh… why?

Think of all the ransom money I can get!

Oh. Ransom. That is much better than executing everyone!

Why would I do that?

I was having flashbacks. The last time someone was excited about having prisoners, it resulted in some beheadings, –

Ah!

– blindings, –

Yeesh!

– torture, –

Oh my!

– and castrations!

Eeeeew!

But you’re not Joffrey. You’re Khalil, and you’re much cooler than that. So about the ransoms. That might not be a good idea. A lot of those captured lords really hate you, and would rebel immediately if given the chance.

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Well, leave them in their cells. Let’s see the rest!

It’s all like that, at least as far as family goes. I think your family’s hatred of your father Is’mail bled over onto you. And since his reign was so short, I’m sure some your uncles want their shot.

Nope! The throne is mine! I’m keeping it.

Good spirit!

Meanwhile, at age 79, Sultan Latif of the Tulunid, Sultan of Egypt, has passed away. His son, Zaia, wishes to continue the tradition of Tulunid Sultans marrying Kalmen daughters, and wishes to have Asenet bint Is’mail as his wife.

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Can’t say no to that!

Well I suppose you could. Don’t do that by the way. Tying your family to the Tulunids is a great way to maintain power in Egypt and North Africa. Especially when a happy Zaia wants to make you Court Calligrapher!

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Sweet deal!

I know, right? You get to write and draw and everything!

I’m important!

You sure are, Khalil. I mean, just look at all the land you control!

This is the Direct Vassals mapmode, not independent states. We are still vassals of Zaia Tulunid

I’m not actually sure how we got that little bit of Abyssinia back. Marriage shenanigans, I’m sure. Either way, you control all of Egypt sans Fustat. The Tulunids are having a bit of an issue, however:

Back to the independent lords mapmode

Prince Ahmad has made a play for Zaia’s throne, instigating the 2nd Tulunid Succession Crisis. Which wouldn’t be much of a problem, except that Sicilian peasants have risen in a bid for independence of their own. The Tulunid Sultanate has powered through far more dire straights than these, so I wouldn’t worry.

I won’t.

Well, maybe you should. Just a little. Ahmad is asking us to join him in his play for power.

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I’d suggest declining. We have a lot invested in Zaia (three of his wives are Kalmen). Besides, if we went to war to place Ahmad on the throne, we’d gain nothing at all.

Let’s stay out of it then.

I agree! This gives us a nice breather. We should see how the rest of the world is doing.

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Damn, that is some major blobbing! Look at that Arabian Empire (the Abbasid Dynasty)! That is huge! They nearly wiped out the Byzantine Empire!

And the Holy Roman Empire! East Francia, Lotharingia, West Francia and northern Italy have all been absorbed.

Norse Skotland nearly has the entirety of the British Isles under its control. Skotland at one point controlled almost all of Scandinavia, but repeated wars of independence have set them back on that front.
The Umayyad Dynasty hasn’t changed much since the beginning of the game. It falls apart every now and then and loses land to Leon and Castille, but then the Spaniards fall apart and the Umayyads take their land back.

Rus at one point controlled Lithuania, but quickly lost it.

Wait.

What just happened?

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The Abbasid Dynasty has come to an end! The Mubarak family has control of the Arabian Empire. Who are these people? Why haven’t I heard of them? And how did they get control of the most powerful empire in the world?

And most importantly, –

Can we trust them?

Exactly. It seems the Hashimid dynasty thinks not, and has split off. That’s a huge chunk of the Arabian Empire. In fact, that’s almost all of Arabia proper.

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To make matters in the east worse, a man named Seljuk has descended from the steppes into Turkmenistan and Khiva. His horde may press into Mubarakid and Hashimid lands.

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I suppose we’ll see how this plays out.

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Oh.

Well, as long as he stays over there he won’t be a problem for Egypt.

What are the chances he’ll stay ‘over there’?

Uh…. Do you really want an answer to that question?

Can’t say that I do.

NEXT TIME: An answer to that question

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Posted by on August 23, 2013 in CK II, Snarkangel Plays (The Tags)

 

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