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Dar al-Islam, Part Fifteen: Throne of the Sultan

29 Aug
*sigh*
Yet another tiresome succession war in Egypt, with Sicily, the Akborids and the Hammids all fighting for the throne. As a Miaphysite Christian you have almost no support from your family and vassals, so we aren’t getting involved in this one. Your penchant for branding the people of your court as heretics and imprisoning them is not helping.
There is no God but Yahweh, and Jesus is his message!

Oh. So now we’re blending Miaphysitism with Islam. THIS CAN ONLY END WELL. Mix that with your growing temper…

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And we are going to have a problem.

It’s cool. I’m calm. I’m. Always. Calm.

Sure you are, Hakam.

I even made us a new dynasty banner! That old crescent-moon-and-stars thing was too Muslim.

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Why a ship? Do you have a fondness for ocean travel? Are you planning on building a sea-faring empire?

Sure, let’s go with that. In the meantime, let’s take some land back from Sicily.

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Oh God damn it child! Make up your mind! Wasn’t Alia the one who converted you to Miaphysitism in the first place?

Yeah, but she converted back to Islam, so I thought I’d go do the same.

Just like that?

Hey, I am twelve years old! I have no idea what all this religion stuff is about!

Good point. In any case, we’ve landed troops on the island of Sicily itself, trying to force the islanders to give up their hold on Makuria. Unfortunately, Sicilian allies have landed at Alexandria.

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Now that I’m Muslim again, I should probably release those not-actually-heretics from my dungeons.

All twelve of them? That would be a good idea, yes. What about the Sicilians?

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I’m not that merciful!

Clearly. So twelve releases, three executions. Busy day!

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I… You…

Are very bad at this whole religion thing. Even for a child.

So hey, remember the Seljuk Turks? Well here they are, carving an empire out of the Aral Sea.

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If they head west, they are going to run headlong into the Samirid Dynasty, which took over from the Abbasids a few decades ago. The Samirid Empire might be strong, but it is facing down against some tenacious Byzantines, and faces an incredibly powerful Holy Roman Empire. A third great power arrayed against the Samirids might tip the balance of power in the Middle East.

In our favour?

Perhaps. Who knows what Egypt might grab if the Samirids collapse? But there’s no guarantee this will happen. And there’s no guarantee the Kalmen Dynasty will gain anything at all.

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Well happy 16th birthday, Hakam! What are you going to do first?

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You know what? This isn’t even exciting any more. So many Kalmen men have had such an ambition, yet failed to act upon it.

Don’t worry. I have a plan. First: Kill the only Tulunid heir of age.

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Second: do the same to the Sultan himself.

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Third: in this moment of Tulunid weakness, discreetly suggest myself as an alternative to the prepubescent Ra’uf. The Sultanate of Egypt would be safer in the hands of the Kalmen Dynasty.

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That is disgustingly clever, Hakam.

I know!

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Now we wait. We wait until Ra’uf is distracted by war.

Like this one?

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Precisely.

They have thirty-two thousand men!

We can raise fourteen thousand on our own. Include our allies and the mercenaries our vast treasury can support, and we will outnumber the Tulunid armies.

Let’s do this shit!

Raise the levies! Raise the fleets!

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Isn’t it beautiful?

It surely is. Praise Allah for giving me this strength.

The Hammids have joined the war on our side, too!

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A combined force of Kalmen and Hammid troops march on Fustat, capital of the Tulunid Dynasty. Two vast armies clash outside the city of Cairo. Camel riders, drunk on wine, ululate their war cries and crash into the enemy lines. Emir Hakam draws Muammar Tulunid, the Sultan’s uncle, into battle and slays him.

Dust and sand clog the eyes. Screaming floods the ears. The battle is long, a slog through fifty thousand mutilated bodies. Hakam pauses only when Koriaur Tulunid, his own cousin and Marshal of the Tulunid Sultanate, lies bloody and broken at his feet, slain by his sword.

NEXT TIME: The Great Egyptian War

P.S. Hakam’s a total badass, with a Martial stat of 21. That’s hardcore.

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Posted by on August 29, 2013 in CK II, Snarkangel Plays (The Tags)

 

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